Are we going to get grass?

"Mikoh, are we going to watch basketball? Are we going to watch a movie? Mikoh, what are we going to watch?"

I didn't really hear any answers from "Mikoh," but the conversation between my boys was intriguing. M was really too busy sucking on his right big toe to answer is older brother's queries, but he interjected an unintelligible response here and there. Ugh, he's really going to town on that toe!

"Mommy, I want to have jelly toast!"

"Creaze... . I want peanut butter and cruck. I want this! I want this!"

The boys are an infuriating delight, bringing joy and warmth to the soul, with minor and major irritations tagging along for the ride. One moment of tender sharing is followed by the next moment of screaming tugs of war over one of two identical cars. Happy swapping of books is disrupted by fierce squabbling over who is drinking whose cup of juice or milk.

The oddest for me is that when all the toys are scattered across the floor, interspersed with their pajamas and yesterday's outfits, they will not play with their toys to save their lives. Once they're picked up and put away, they can spend hours with a handful of cars, trucks and trains. They stop at invisible traffic lights ("Red means 'top. Green means go!). C asks M, "Are we going to get grass?" and they go to the "grass" station to fill up with fuel.

Oh, it's lunch time. Mommy has just called us to a "gastronomical wonder."

Teaching it is...

Okay, so this is supposed to be about jobs. Teaching seems to be the direction. I'd like to be more decisive, but the best I can muster is less sure. Subbing in the public schools appears to be the best opportunity available right now, so that's where my energies are directed. May God grant me the grace and favor needed to get my foot in the door, and perhaps even to follow in Dad's footsteps.

From One Cemetery to Another

Yes, Dan, I admit it: I'm stealing ideas from you. Well, maybe "stealing" is too strong. I'm definitely getting ideas from you, though. But just to show that I give credit where it is due: http://aponderingpilgrim.blogspot.com/2010/10/thoughts-from-pine-tree-cemetery.html.

Unlike you, I did not spend much time in cemeteries as a kid. The nearest one to my house was too far for me to go, though in actual distance it was no more than a mile from home. I'm not sure of the name of it, but I think it's rather mundane, such as, "North Carmel Cemetery."

The only headstone of interest to me there was the one that has my mother's name on it. She died more than 23 years ago when I was just seventeen and a junior in high school. She knew your two elder brothers, and she loved them very much. She treasured the time that she had with them.

Mum died on a Tuesday evening. The memorial service was held at our church, of course, and over three hundred people showed up for it. There was no viewing; the cremation had already taken place. As a result, there was no burial, either. No burial, and no headstone. Dad bought the headstone several years later. I've been there, and cried there. I missed her and grieved her loss. I felt keenly her absence from my life, my dreams, my choices, my pursuits. I blamed God even while I clung desperately to him for comfort.

While you cast about for the anchor of your life, Dan, I hope that cling desperately to the One that can be your anchor, even as you plumb the depths and search the mysteries of his grace. Challenge him to make himself real and known to you.

Don't stay forever in the cemetery, though. He will walk with you there, but that is not where he resides, and if you are in him then that is not your residence, either. Mum's not there. Mrs. Lynch is not there. They are with him at his residence. That's where we should go, too.

A Pondering Pilgrim in my dooryard

I re-read the opening post of another blog I follow, called "A Pondering Pilgrim." I'm related to the man that writes it, so I have a personal interest in his ponderings. I can't say that I agree with some of the conclusions he has reached over the last several months (because I don't), but I do understand his basic premise that what he believes about Christianity must be what he believes--not what others have told him or raised him to believe. Otherwise, it never takes root in him and becomes who he is. I don't mean this disrespectfully at all, Dan: Been there, done that. Bought the t-shirt, sent the postcard. Or so I thought.

What I've found is that Dan's journey of now (my journey of 23 years ago) is repeated whenever I think I've got life (and God) figured out. There's no doubt in my mind that I am now learning and/or re-learning to trust God to be who he says he is. Many of the people and things on which I have relied have been taken away--loved ones who've gone home to be with the Lord, impending loss of job (and lack of one to take its place), material goods damaged or destroyed, relationships damaged--and I am left with only (!) God. I am the Pondering Pilgrim in my dooryard.

Dan, my prayer for you is that you will take your experiences, thoughts, dreams, desires, hopes, expectations, successes, failures and needs to the One that can make all things word together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose, and let him make sense of your life. My prayer for me is that I will do the same. Then, as we rest in the knowledge of our Lord, let us tell transgressors his ways, and share with them the bounty of his blessings to those who trust in him.

Nahum 1:7

The BCS Class of 1988 had Nahum 1:7 as its verse: "The LORD is good; a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him."

I say, Amen and amen. I did not get the job in South Carolina. They sent me a message by e-mail thanking me for participating in the first two rounds of interviews, and expressing their enjoyment of the first interview, in particular. I, in turn, wrote and thanked them for considering me and expressed my disappointment at not being able to join their school family. I also said that I trusted that God has something...else for me. I nearly said something "better," but in my disappointment I did not want to be discourteous. Truly, the Lord must have something better in mind than that, because he promises to work out all for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. According to HIS purpose. Not according to mine.

The Lord IS good. He IS a refuge for those who trust in him. That is where I want to be.

Second round done

The second interview was conducted by phone about ten days ago. it went all right, but was nothing outstanding--phone interviews are very tough to gauge, anyway. Was supposed to hear something by Sept. 3, but nothing yet...

First round done

The first round interview was completed today, lasting nearly two hours on the phone with two gentlemen with whom I would be working if I got this job. I like what the job is: student and teaching mentoring and discipleship, teacher development and evaluation, curriculum integration with biblical worldview, and teacher-parent communications.

We'll see where the process goes next...